#8: KJ & Heldum: Picked Music

By: M Monroe Casey

Scene One

20:00. It was a quiet night in Nuevos Amigos. Uncharacteristically quiet. This night was merely the quiet before the storm though as Cucumber the Pickle loaded up two fresh rounds into his metallic death stick as he stood in the alleyway down from Grapefruit Manor. With his mercenaries’ standard-issued weapon now ready, he prepared himself for the war ahead, unable to see now that he was questing something so pointless, something so empty and something so ridiculous as vengeance. All Cucumber could do was play his part though. Unaware of it all. Unaware of a better way. Trapped in the circle and playing his role in life. The role he was dealt and that part today wished to use up those shells he bought for his new shotgun. Knowing he can’t change the past and feeling it was too late to change the present, he knew it wasn’t too late to still make him pay… 

Sitting in their comfy pants with their favorite mochas in each of their manicured left hands, Monica and CJ watched together on the Windowsill as it was all unfolding in Northern Ireland. Cuddled up on Mt. Couch with a big fluffy pink blanket and small pink pillows on either side, they already checked in on Baleigh Sofia and her family. She is still at home resting both physically and emotionally after the massive and literally world-shaking events with Beauty, Design and Lighting entering her life. There were no new “War of the Goddess” updates so it was merely time to catch up in their relaxed date night on some smaller things surrounding the other Luisa sisters after their trauma in Norway. 

“Wait… so… why are they in Belfast?” Questioned the newcomer to regular viewing, CJ. 

“Honestly, it’s been a bit. Want a refresher?” 

“Yeah… good idea. There is so much information with these Luisa kids…”  

Hitting a file back further in this folder, they began to get caught up with it all once more. With Heldum Salome going back to Castle Johnson to finish her Southern Calgary Prep Elementary semester abroad, she took the time to finish her play while KJ, Tiff, Kyle and her parents came to visit.

Leaving the exhausted Star Goddess at home with Jack and Naj, they got to meet the eclectic members of the Castle, in the Post Count era. None of them knew what really happened to the Count but one day, Count Chuck-Se-Lot was just gone and the indescribable ancient magic that was so indescribable in nature that there is no point in describing it, was instantly gone too. Their memories returned and they could leave the premises whenever they wished. 

Writing letters by carrier pigeon to each of their families to let them know they are fine, they decided that the bonds that they forged are too strong to leave now. Then one night at the talent show, Heldum Luisa put on her play while a few other members performed musical acts. Ranging from Speed Metal with the Living Tree, A Rap trio of the Witch, Anna-Alice and Bobby to the EDM tunes provided by Quinn, they showcased it all and KJ grew inspired in her young green eyes. With Tiff and Kyle offering to babysit them on this journey, after their bonds forged in the near-world ending events only a few months prior, the crew was formed. As they decided to then take their combined efforts on the road, the Luisa parents returned to Alberta to check in on their oldest. Leaving the hills of Scotland, they continued to the first theater that would allow just about any upstart dreamer to perform their separated but united work. 

“Cucumber the Pickle: The Existential Peek into a Vengeful Soul’s Woes” for Heldum and “The Castle Johnson Mixtape: The Countdown” for KJ. Both featuring their friends among the Castle’s Roommates.

After a quick reminder of where they came from in this wild journey, Monica then hit the button to resume the Windowsill after they collected their snacks. The narrator to this play and also Roommate of the Count, The Informant, finished setting the scene to all those in that small theater of fifty in the city center of Belfast, Northern Ireland. 

…Ugh the Grapefruit betrayed him and everything that he and the Pickles stood for. All the vegetables. Ugh slowly consolidated power amongst them all through his systematic gang war and takeover. With a small army, a massive fortune and a rumored great, terrible and powerful monster at his disposal, he was moving forward virtually opposed. Virtually unopposed until one pickle looks to even the briney score. 

With not one dry eye existing at the end of the play some time later, they all stood in a unison of clapping and cheers. Briefly leaving her Mixtape booth to film the reaction, the manager of it all, KJ then began to send it around to other theaters. They weren’t a no at first but they just needed some reactions and reviews first so that’s just what she was going to give them. 

Waiting for a reply from them, they were now standing in their post show circle and looked around at each other as one proud team. The nine-year-old brunette Heldum, the seven-year-old brunette KJ, the root-tootin cowboy Quinn, Tom Bradley, June Seventh, The Living Pine Tree of Kuala Lumpur, Count Oliver, Tiff, Kyle, G.P.S., The Witch of the Mountain, The Living Marble Fountain of Florence, Bobby Saya What? and Anna-Alice “Lantern” Johnson. Selling a mixtape to each member of the crowd there tonight, it was resounding success in both endeavors and just when the night couldn’t get any better, Tiff got a reply to her tablet. One addressed to the young manager to the stars. Giggling while she read it, she then brought the news to her group. 

“Ok team… we did good tonight. No, we did great! But I have some good news. So, who’s ready to take this more on the road?”

With them all raising their hands, KJ continued. 

“That’s what I thought. Well, we just got our next show booked in Cardiff. Followed by Porto, Luxembourg City, Bucharest and Bishkek. Soooooo… who’s ready?!?!?!” 

With a cheer across their random and assorted group, Monica and CJ too, they wrote an email to the Luisa parents and then proceeded to pack up. There were more plays to do and more crowds to entertain. Next stop is Cardiff, Wales. 

Scene Two

Click. 

The Mid-August winds swept through the hole-ridden warehouse in the Cardiff Docks. It’s been almost a full year since the events of Stevens Point and two months since he made that declaration and dedication at the shrine to the Past Rashid. His hero paved the way for Roget Merlot to begin his ultimate quest. Unite the banners of the Tools of the Cosmos under one revolution and overthrow the whole system. Their current system could never protect them from what was coming. Only the past version of Rashid knew the truth. He knew the answer. He must do this for him. The higher ups in the Cosmos hierarchy silenced him because he spoke the truth. Now, he’ll make them regret it. 

“Are you ready, Roget?” 

“Yes sir. I’m ready to continue cutting the strings. You freed me from their shackles and the ‘society’ that held me down. They just wanted to hold me there forever. My family. My friends. My job. My life. All of it. Vicious snakes. But there shall be no more snakes in my grass. Never again.” 

Pulling out a pen, he then began drawing on the small map laid across the small foldable table, while Smooth Stone replied directly to his brain, “Exactly. Make them see. Their selfishness is a disease.”

“Yes sir. We shall purge it like the disease it is.” 

“Good. Now, go. Now.” 

“Yes sir.”   

Standing over his map of Cardiff, he finished circling the train station and then with a quiet maniacal laugh and tight grip on the handle of Smooth Stone, he gathered his materials and began towards the door. Before he left, he pulled out two small vials of black liquid and a box of matches from his left pocket. Pouring one vial on the table and one vial on his skin, he emptied them both. The dumping on the table turned it to a dark oily color while the skin began to turn his veins to a darker purple tint. With a shutter across his whole body, the brukev began to seep directly into his bloodstream, furthering his commitment to the goal at hand. Then, as he began to lose sight of the past thanks to the Pyroclastian magical byproduct that produces nothing but bad news, he lit a match. Dropping it up on the oily table, it began to ignite the whole warehouse slowly but surely. Standing in the billowing smoke and razing flames, a smirk in his insane brukev possessed eyes. 

Writing upon the new updates in his notes, Monica then closed the notification and brought the Windowsill to the next part of the play, this time as they performed it in a small popup theater in Cardiff city center. 

21:00. Nuevos Amigos is about to get a shotgun wake up call from this uncharacteristically quiet night. Standing down a few hundred meters from Grapefruit Manor. Cucumber was ready to storm the keep and bring them to his version of violent justice as the need for revenge was coursing through his briney membranes. 

Monica and CJ took a sip of their mochas as The Informant finished his opening monologue in this scene while Count Oliver dressed up as our living pickle protagonist, charged in. 

Charging forward, he delivered a fury driven headbutt into the gate. With guns literally blazing, he delivered his fury directly to the faces and unexpecting forms of the seven Asparagus thugs who watched the Eastern entrance. 

Watching the vegetable-on-vegetable crime unfold, they saw Count Oliver’s character bring the high in antioxidant and low in calories and fat pain to the ones of Quinn, June Seventh, G.P.S., Tom Bradley, The Witch of the Mountain, Bobby Saya What? and Anna-Alice “Lantern” Johnson. 

Using his weapon almost like it was an extension of himself, the double-crossed mercenary began to crack asparagus like it was a fancy dinner under the weight of his distest. Falling before him with each use of the age-old death bringing system, Ugh the Grapefruit could hear his doom slowly approaching from his very own harbinger of souls. Sitting in his planning room with no security. Nothing but a small pistol on the desk in front of him. A pistol and a numbness to the pain around him. It seems that karma was finally coming for him and it was only fitting for what he recently did to the Artichokes. Events that even his own bodyguards won’t discuss due to trauma. The gang wars of Nuevos Amigos have risen to new heights in his ascension and it was no new news to him that things were reaching that boiling point now. No vegetable could escape that great frying pan in the sky now. But as he looked down at the switch with the red button on his solid oak table, he knew that he wouldn’t be getting sauteed alone today. All the while, Cucumber delivered the final attack on the last thug guard. Then, with a swift kick, he knocked in the side door to the gym. With a smirk, Ugh reached down and hit the red button as a loud “honk” then rang through the manor. His monster had now and finally been released. 

With another standing ovation at the end of the play by the seventy-five guests, the crew took their show to the road once more. Critics raved about the performances overall and especially from their very own, The Living Marble Fountain of Florence playing Ugh. Then, with those driving their motivation along seventy-five more mixtapes being sold too, they continued on. Next up on the tour, Porto.     

Scene Three

The crew walked in one by one, carrying in their props and assorted gear. Serving as their own management, production and roadie team, they had everything they needed to be successful which most importantly, included each other. It was nearing showtime but this time in Porto, Portugal. To a crowd of one-hundred and fifty. Watching it all unfold once more with Count Oliver captivating them all, CJ’s head now rested in her favorite place on Monica’s shoulder now as they progressed onward in the play and the story arc of “Pickled Music.”

22:00. Cucumber is moving through Grapefruit Manor. No Asparagus, Radish or Ear of Corn safe from his wrath. Water soaked the floors as he walked, dripping down from his whole form too. Stepping through the weightlifting room, leaving a Radish with the weight of his own choices burying him in a quite literal sense, Cucumber then stepped into the gym. Loading two more shots into his metallic score-evener. Ahead of him stood the legendary black, grey and white monster of Ugh. The Great Goose. 

Then, as he charged The Living Pine Tree of Kuala Lumpur in his muscular and terrifying goose costume, the Windowsill recorded a new event in Pyroclastia. Unable to take their eyes off this, they didn’t change the scene but still watched the building action story written by Heldum. 

Recording in its lonesome, unfortunately at the same time as someone else’s massive play epic unfolding, he was yet again alone in his journaling. Marche sat on his small bed with the pen and pad. Writing more in the notes underneath Evander, he wrote about this last dream in the small and dim candlelight. He was the same man but successfully led a resistance against an attacking skeletal army in the south side of the city of Louisville, Kentucky, Earth. This was yet another dream on earth and he was Evander once more. But he wasn’t the same Evander. He was older but didn’t have the puppet skin. It was almost like a different dimension or timeline. Circling a few points on his notes, he then riffled through his letter from Augustin. His son will be around to visit soon and with a smile, he went back to bed. Blowing out the candle first as Cucumber attempted to do the same to The Great Goose. 

With two blasts of his weapon to its body, the creature doubled down in pain as he brought a left hook to its elongated neck. With a loud “honk” that resounded through the building, Ugh stood at his oaken desk of blood and shame. The pistol now being his last line of defense from what is coming. At least as far as his own team knew. Not losing hope yet, he looked upon the screen of the gym to see Cucumber be tossed across the room by the behemoth that towered over him. Reaching into his own desk and pulling out a box of solid gold bullets, Ugh began to load them while the soft basslines of the ambient music brought him to a closer point of tranquility and focus. It was just another death. No different from the others. Just one more mark and one more scar for his already very-nicked body. On the screen ahead, Cucumber was beginning to rebound in the fight and bring the pain to the goose now. The Pickled Pain. Loading up two shots into his weapon, he fired into the chest once more as it was knocked back. Charging forward with two more shots ready, he ended the fight before another reaction could be made. Walking forward towards the last hallway, he could feel the quest nearing its end now. 

With standing ovations, raving reviews and mixtapes sold to follow that performance, they packed up with gleeful attitudes. Taking some time at the beach for sun, surf and group bonding on their epic trip across Europe and Central Asia, they moved onto the next stop in Luxembourg City. This particular theater was going to be different though. This time, their manager prodigy booked them a gig at a music venue. With a smile on KJ Luisa’s face as read the news off of Tiff’s tablet, she hugged her friend and proceeded to meet up with her sister while Tiff and Kyle held their hands in the back of the tour bus. Then, connecting a kiss to Monica’s shoulder, CJ put her head back down as the story and the magic of the “Pickled Music” arc continued north and then east. 

Scene Four

Before they continued watching the events of Luxembourg City, Luxembourg, Monica Dancer paused the Windowsill’s live stream. 

“So, you said before there are six Goddesses, yeah?” 

“Yeah. Why?” 

“Well, they each have Goddess names, titles and personal names. I just got confused when I was thinking about the last few fights.” 

With a smile at the usual level headed one, she offered her help and planted another kiss on her left shoulder, “Would you like to go through together, my sweet darling?” 

Kissing the top of CJ’s head, she accepted and went first, as they completed trying to understand the whole War in a different light. 

“Okay, so… we got Baleigh Sofia Luisa. The Star. The Goddess of Stars. Simple enough.” 

“Yes. Then, Nathaly Queen. Stained Glass. The Goddess of Beauty. We had Roberto too but yeah… She is a Vessel of Beauty. Two souls are marked and then form to make one body. There are supposed to be two, obvio, so I don’t know what will happen now to her as a Goddess but as far as I know, that’s who we got.” 

Holding up their interlocked hands into the air, Monica continued on, “Okay. Then… we got Lenna-Anna Nicole. She’s called Divinity or The Goddess of Design. She cursed herself with some Pyroclastian curse to deage herself but amplify her powers. Do you know where she could find something like that?” 

“No… It’s weird because I think Vittoria Ivonee a.k.a. Let There Be or The Goddess of Lighting, had one too. But her curse turned her completely blood red, straight up evil and she could crack her bones to heal. So, they weren’t the same curses. Similar… but different.” 

“Yeah… plus their plan, C. They just wanted to live alone in a perfect paradise they forged? Does that remind you of anyone?”

“I guess it does. Hmmm… Then, we have Jessica Maddy or Face, The Goddess of Acting. She disappeared before we even saw her fight or even enter the High School. I look back at the Windowsill but just like what happened to Vittoria, we couldn’t see it…” Bringing their hands back down, she let Monica continue on. 

“So weird. Wait… who’s left? I only counted five.” 

“The Goddess of Accessories, OMG.” 

“Oh… I remember you told me and Baleigh a little. She’s different, right?”

With a brief serious look on her well-manicured spa night face, CJ replied, “Yeah. I don’t even know her real name.”

“How’s that possible? Aren’t you the High Goddess and can travel anywhere at any time?” 

Using a free hand to tip toe the fingers and crawl across the top of Monica’s hands while they sat on Mt. Couch, she replied. “Yeah… but all the Windowsill scenes with her are completely dark and it seems like all the history dating back to the start of her role has been erased. Like all of it.” 

“Wait… even like her erasing the information?” 

“Yeah… I don’t know how. Maybe another curse or something… but she wants to move in the shadows, smartly and this is clearly all her idea. It has to be. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one who cursed Lenna-Anna and Vittoria…”

“Woah babe…” 

“Yeah.”    

“Okay. Don’t worry about it, C. We’ll figure it out,” kissing her head once more, “Let’s just get back to the scene at hand. Thanks…” 

Nuzzling her head closer in and deeper on her shoulder, she graciously agreed. 

Resuming the image on the screen to the live moment, the musical acts had begun on stage in Luxembourg City. This theater of five hundred roared as the rap group of The Witch of the Mountain, Count Oliver, Anna-Alice “Lantern” Johnson and Bobby Saya What? neared the end of their performance. 

With the Witch only cackling back to anything said to her, she provided the background as Anna-Alice and Count Oliver dropped mad rhymes back and forth. Bobby offered the “WHAT?” to the hyped crowd, completing the call and response each time. Finishing their song titled “Bricks and Lawns” about Castle Johnson and the surrounding community, they ended to a roar and sea of adoring fans.

After their performance, The Living Pine Tree Kuala Lumpur, June Seventh and The Living Marble Fountain of Florence brought the power in their Speed Metal band with the song, “Counts just don’t understand.” Followed directly by a tag team EDM duo of Quinn and G.P.S., G.P.S. used his signature ability to comment on every turn they need to make while walking anywhere to lay down the directions in a robotic voice. The directions to the greatest party ever. Their song, “Y’all hear, this way, says the G.P.S.” 

Ending their show to a standing ovation and sold out mixtapes once more, they gathered towards the train station and boarded together. Heading to the southeast. To Bucharest, Romania. 

“Wait… they are going to Bucharest… in this scene?” Commented the confused Monica.  

“I guess! What a surprise!!” 

“Hahaha yeah, got to love a good plot twist.” 

Arriving in Bucharest’s city center, they continued their touring musical acts with everyone again.  Which Monica and CJ missed due to new snacks being needed but once they sat down to watch again, they saw Tom Bradley performing his American Country Music act, “Countdowns.” He talked about his journey from Chattanooga to Castle Johnson. All for the dream, stardom and the belief in the “Meat Pocket.” 

As the crowd of one thousand swayed back and forth with cellphone lights for lighters, they provided the ambiance as he provided the sweet and heartfelt tuneage. With a Romanian standing ovation much like the ones before, they had to switch over to digital sales now because the mixtapes had finally and completely run out. With the tour’s resounding success, they moved towards the airport. Heading basically straight east. The last leg of the journey awaits in the land of their destiny. A destiny that included a sold out crowd of one thousand for “Cucumber the Pickle” and another sold out crowd of fifty thousand for the live performance of “The Countdown.” First, they had to cross over the newest attraction of the area, the deep craters formed from the destruction of the world’s newest and briefest tallest mountain, Mt. Aktau. Leaving that bad memory behind as their plane progressed, it was time to move on. Only onward. So, onward they went. Onward to Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan.  

Scene Five

00:00. Cucumber has solved the mirror maze, labyrinth and quiz competition all situated in the nearly endless final hallway. He quickly only took left right turns in the maze, left again in the labyrinth and answered C in the test. Now, he stood at the doorway to Ugh’s private room. Raising his weapon up, he fired it into the thick lock system and shattered it upon an instant impact. Walking into the room, he immediately was met by a golden bullet to the chest. Across from him, Ugh the Grapefruit received a similar greeting. Knowing very well that they both won’t make it out there, Ugh didn’t feel the need to trigger the bombs that laced the whole city. Both stepping to their left, another shot was unleashed and their greeting continued. Two more steps like this as yells filled the gaps in noise. Watching Ugh fall before him, Cucumber doubled down in pain as he was finally able to see just what he had sacrificed in his bloodthirsty quest. A future. 

With the Mid-November chill in the air, the sold out crowd in Bishkek sat in a hush shared by Monica and CJ as they were finally able to witness the ending of the play that had critics before ranting, “Just why? WHY? Why was that so good?” and “Vegetables have souls now. Never doubt it.” 

Collapsing down completely and pulling out his cellphone, he then began to livestream it on the popular media, “CarrotTube.” He needed them all to know. Know just how wrong he truly was. 

“It is now 00:14. My name is Cucumber the Pickle. You may recognize me as The Pickled Pain. The avenger and harbinger of the gangs that rule and ruin our great city. But I wasn’t always this way. I was once a part of that system. I was a hitman and in an act of doublecrossing, Ugh the Grapefruit ruined that life for me. So, I sought to ruin him. I brought countless vegetables to the great frying pan in the sky and I never bat an eye because he did this to me. How wrong I was… Ugh may have ruined my life but I sought something even possibly more soul ruining. I couldn’t stop what he did but I didn’t have to become like him. So… if you remember me for one thing, remember me for this… don’t make my mistake. Live to veggie another day and find a different way to stop people like Ugh. And. People. Like. Me. No vegetable is better than another. We each have our taste and our own problems. The retaliation. The vengeance. It’s not worth it. At least while I go out today on this new day I can have hope… hope that someday a vegetable won’t have to grow up without a father or a mother. Hope that drugs, crime and the darkness within each of our watery veins doesn’t take us over. You may be lost but don’t stay that way. There is always hope for a second chance… So, that’s what I leave with all of you. Hope…” 

Dropping his phone, his moment of clarity finishing, Cucumber joined Ugh in the great beyond. Unknown to him, the three billion live viewers watching this all. Unknown to him that he was merely a spark on that day, to each and last one of them. A massive and catastrophic spark. His life and his mistakes won’t be made in vain. For Nuevos Amigos, the change was coming and it all came from an “unsavable grapefruit who never belonged” and a cucumber who dared to dream of a brine life. The End.  

With a surge of people rising to the air, they both could see him again. Roget Merlot stood in the crowd with the orange hue of Smooth Stone in his slowly muscle-building arms. His darker purple eyes and hair watched on but instead of charging forward to cause a mass panic in an attempt for revenge or something, he was stunned and petrified. With the true emotional movement from Cucumber’s resounding conclusion in his mind, he couldn’t continue what he was doing. Smooth Stone’s direct connection told the same. They both had to stop. As the orange color that powered Smooth Stone’s vengeful core dimmed, the purple of the brukev began to eradicate from Roget’s veins too. Leaving only a man and his friend. Hearing the voice in his head, he pulled out his cellphone and sent a single message. Telling his family he is coming home soon but first, he has some personal matters to attend too. It was time to make amends. 

With a smile on her face, as KJ, Heldum, Tiff and Kyle said their goodbyes to the crew, Monica’s tired eyes were having a hard time staying awake now. The four of them were preparing to return to Calgary since the semester was just about done. Leaving Quinn in charge of the Roommates of the Count, they left towards the airport for the return trip to Canada. Using the little concentration she had left, Monica pulled out her notebook and crossed off the Roget and Roommates of the Count portions of her “developing plotlines” page. 

Then, while snores by CJ overpowered her too, they fell asleep cuddled on Mt. Couch. Not a care in the world while Cal the Cobra slept cuddled next to Tadala’s black scales outside. Four content and happy souls in a world all their own. A world itself built upon an unfathomable magic and power but more importantly than it all, a world that contained a hut and the love it housed.   

The End